Is Therapy Right For Me?

Starting therapy may be something that’s been on your mind for quite some time. Perhaps it hasn’t been a priority because you haven’t had the time or it seems like something you’ll eventually get to, so you’ve put it on the back burner. But now you’re in a place in life where you finally have the capacity to engage in therapy yet you still feel hesitant. There could be many reasons for this. 

Find the best therapist for you

One reason is that you have tried therapy a few times and it didn’t feel like a good a fit or it wasn’t that helpful. But finding a therapist that is suited to you is like any other relationship. It’s going to take some searching to find someone that you click with and that you feel comfortable opening up to. 

Also, the qualities that actually make a good therapist: experience, psychological depth and emotional capacity, can’t necessarily be taught in school. Becoming a therapist isn’t like training to become a commercial pilot where after graduating from flight school, you can safely assume that every pilot has the same ability and skills to fly and land an airplane. So having lackluster experiences with prior therapists doesn’t mean that you should give up on finding a therapist entirely. It just might mean you haven’t found the right therapist yet.  

finding the right therapist

Why does therapy cost so much?

Another reason that stops people from doing therapy is they think it’s too expensive. But folks go on international vacations or dine out at fancy restaurants despite there being no guarantee their life satisfaction will increase after these experiences. Sometimes it comes down to what people value and whether the common byproducts of therapy such as self-awareness, emotional regulation, improved mood, feeling less depressed, or having better self-esteem are worth striving for and investing in.   

How to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma

Another reason you might be wary of starting therapy is if your parents were immigrants who came from a country where therapy is a foreign concept. Paying someone to talk about your problems or emotional challenges may seem self-indulgent, especially when therapy was not valued by your family. You may second guess the desire to work on your issues thinking “Why should I complain about anything when my parents had to deal with so much more than me?” But just because going to therapy is not something your parents could ever imagine, doesn’t mean that you need to follow in their footsteps and do the same things that they did. If you have trauma or intergenerational trauma, going to therapy can be a way of breaking the cycle of trauma that gets passed down from generation to generation.  

Also, your parents’ lives were probably simpler than yours, not easier, but simpler and less nuanced. They didn’t have as many options for which jobs to choose, who to marry, whether to have kids, how to find personal fulfillment, how to maintain friendships, how to date, etc.. Your life is different with more opportunities and freedom. But having the freedom to choose how to live your life while also struggling to attain what you want, comes with its own burdens.

how to start therapy

There can be mental hurdles to overcome in order to start therapy but once you take the leap of faith, therapy can have many benefits. Therapy is an investment and like all investments, the earlier you start the more time you have for the benefits to grow. In other words, if you begin therapy in your 20s or 30s, you have the majority of your adult life left to reap the rewards of your work in therapy. Does that mean if you’re in your 40s or 50s you shouldn’t invest in therapy? Absolutely not. It’s never too late to learn about yourself or to change and it’s better to invest now, than never.

Contact me for a free phone consultation to see if I may be a good fit for you.